Out of Control

Excited, anxious, nervous, and occasionally nauseous.  All things I felt when I was prego with the girls...all things I am feeling now (except the nausea is only occasional!).  Before I blamed the crazy emotions on my hormones, now I realize it's just the anticipation of having another child.  I'm learning a lot about myself through this process.  For example, I had no idea how much I like things to be in my control.  And how all of this being out of my control is causing an ulcer to form in my stomach.  I can't control the mail, the Ethiopian courts or their speed, when our tax return will hit our checking account, or how my kiddos are being taken care of tonight.  But the great comfort I find in all of this being out of my control is that someone much better at taking care of all this than me is in fact in control!  My God is in control.  He knows who my kids are and is watching over them even as I type this.  He has provided our state side fees through our tax return and knows when it will hit our account so that I can write the next few checks to continue in the process.  He knows the day we will get to bring the kids home.  It is so comforting that I can lean on His everlasting arms and trust that what He has called us to do will come to pass in His oh so perfect timing.

We are taking baby steps! Our home study was complete this past week.  We are just waiting on our notarized copy (and tax return money to pay for it's review).  Once it's final we can also apply for grants and loans.  We sign our contract and pay our first fee at our incredible agency (Arise for Children) tomorrow.  The rest of the week will be spent finalizing our dossier paperwork.  Meanwhile, we'll submit a request to the government for permission to bring an orphan into our home.  Then we'll get a notice to get fingerprinted and wait for approval.  When we get all of that submitted, we wait.  Wait for a referral, wait for a court date, wait to bring our kids home.  (I promise I'm working on trusting in the Lord's timing...I really do know it's perfect!)