A Somali friend of mine gave Noah the nickname "Lucky". She said she's going to call him that because he's so lucky he got to come to America. I told her I'm the lucky one. While this seems like a cliche response, it's true. I'm certain my heart has changed as much as Noah's future. I thought that once we got to where we are....Noah home, most of the paperwork complete....my heart would be content. I would sigh with relief. Content literally means satisfied with what one is or has, not wanting more. The "problem" is I. Want. More. More financial burden, more grief in the process, more waiting, more adjusting, more ex-orphans, more fatherless no more, more precious sons and daughters. I. Want. Less. Less stuff, less "me" time, less quiet, less sleep, less convenience. And I'm praying hearts all across the nation, including yours, will be changed to feel the same.
I'm often told by Christians, "I think that's so great you all did that. I just don't really feel called to do that." It's sort of like missions. Everyone is so glad someone else is doing it, they can feel good about it being done without actually doing any of the hard part themselves.
When I was in the market in Ethiopia, telling the street boys I don't need any more gum, it was pointed out to me that this would likely have been Noah's unadopted future if he had survived to see his 5th birthday. A hungry street boy selling gum and toothbrushes to make it through another day. Sometime throughout each day when I look at that sweet toothless grin I see myself. There I was, destined for a hopeless future of desperate measures trying to make it through the day, but saved by God's grace I instead became a daughter full of hope. As shaken as I was at the thought of my son living on the street, subject to things I don't even want to type into print, the thought of him and myself being a spiritual orphan is far more painful....far more eternal.
So when a Christian tells me they aren't "called" to care for an orphan, I want to ask if they are glad they were "called" to be adopted. I totally get that there are legitimate reasons in certain times in life that a family cannot adopt right then. Countries have restrictions on parent's age/income, number/sex of children in the home already, etc. But the inconvenience another child will give you is not a reason to not extend the grace that's been given to you to an orphan. There is a little girl that is waiting for a forever family in an orphanage in Ethiopia. She's 6 and has HIV. I want nothing more than to be her mom. But because of our international move that is coming in a year or so we are not able to make that happen. I'm daily burdened for her and praying God will break the hearts of a family even more than he has broken mine and provide for her a forever family. Could it be you? Could you give her a forever family? While most of you skimmed right past that, maybe afraid to consider it, some of you might be contemplating what that would mean for your family to adopt an HIV positive child. Ask yourself what it would mean for you if you were not adopted by God through what Jesus did on the cross? What if He had not taken on the broken, dirty, sick mess that you were and made you a child? Now, instead of thinking of yourself, ask what it means for her and the over 140 million other orphans to not be adopted? What does it look like? I'm not trying to paint an emotional picture to pull at your heartstrings. I just want you to recognize the grace that's been given to you. I believe if we can do that, truly get a tiny grasp on what's been done for us, we can't help but pass it on.
Did you know if 7% of Christians adopted there would be no more orphans to be adopted?? 7%. To be honest (or continue to be) I struggle with getting really angry over this. Angry that we so willingly accept grace and are happy to be pulled out of our own miry pit but are so hesitant to give it to someone else. Angry that the people who worship the God who defends the fatherless only respond "that's so sad" and "what a shame". Angry that the people who are hold the Bible as their authority overlook that it says "pure religion is to look after orphans and widows". When we discussed the possibility of adopting the little girl I mentioned we were told by a couple people, "Some people really struggle with the fact that you can't help everyone. There will always be another orphan." This is so true, and I am one of the people with this problem. But a bigger problem is that we use this to comfort ourselves out of doing anything. We tell ourselves I can't adopt all the orphans so I won't do anything. The real problem is that the church can adopt all the orphans that are able to be adopted, but it is not. It doesn't even take the whole church...just 7% of it. I said before that there are legitimate reasons that families cannot adopt today. But I know that a lot more than 7% of those who profess Jesus as their Lord and Savior do not have a real legitimate reason. Will you be apart of the 7%?
I recognize not all orphans can be adopted. So maybe you can't adopt an orphan to be your child but you can help those orphans who will never be adopted be fed, be educated, and hear about the Father that they do have.
I look forward to when we are able to adopt again. Hopefully, the country we move to will allow us to do so. So for those who have asked what kind of problems I've had since bringing Noah home, it's probably not what you might expect. I have no problems with my new son, just with the number of orphans that are left fatherless.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
For KY Adoptive Parents...all the post stuff
This one is for all my friends who are bringing home their babies and trying to navigate social security cards, name changes, re-adopt or not?, etc...etc.... I had a hard time getting this information and it seemed to vary from person to person when I did get it. So in one concise post I'd like to share with you how I did it and it was actually quite easy once I figured out what I was doing!
***Disclaimer: if you live out of KY this will probably not pertain to you but it could be similar in your area of the country*****
Name Change: The most helpful piece of information I can give you is do this FIRST. You do NOT, I repeat do NOT need a social security number, birth certificate, etc to accomplish this. In fact, you don't don't even need your certificate of citizenship to change your baby's name. All you have to do is go to your local Probate court office and fill out some paperwork on their computer (you can not do this at your home computer). You do not need an appointment. We may have needed our adoption decree for this but I know we did not have to show his COC so we actually could have done this sooner. The fee in minimal...less than $20. But you do need 2 separate checks because one is a filing fee($8) that has to be paid separate. You will then be assigned a court date to come back. We got ours 2 days later and Dan went for this. I did not and Noah did not have to be present. He was there less than an hour and got our official documents stating our names as petitioners his previous name and new name. You can get "official" copies for I think $2(not sure) that you need to get social security card, birth cert etc, and "unofficial" copies for $.50 that can be used at places like your doctors office and school. They were very friendly and efficient here in Louisville. If you live in Louisville the number is (502) 595-4434, they are open Monday-Friday 8:30-4:30. It is located in the Brandeis Hall of Justice downtown. I called before we went and they were helpful and answered all my questions. We were there about 30 minutes for the initial paperwork.
Social Security Card: We did this next. Dan actually left the court from the official name change and walked straight to social security office (a couple blocks away from the court house). Again, Noah did not have to be present. Only children older than 12 need to appear in person. You must have ORIGINALS of the Certificate of Citizenship and adoption decree to complete this. He took everything we had on the adoption with him, including Noah's passport. She made copies of originals. You have to fill out a form that can be printed from www.ssa.gov. More information is on this site. We picked up his number and a temporary card the next day so we could amend our taxes and got the original card a week later. So if you're considering delaying name change to get taxes going it only took us 2 days to get a name change. And you can get name change before you get your COC, then when it arrives go get a social. Then you won't have to redo the social post name change.
Registering the adoption in KY: So I was confused, and am still not sure if I'm right, about readopting in the US and what that means. From what I understand because the adoption is final in Ethiopia the US views Noah as an immigrant living in our home, not necessarily as our son. In order to get a KY Birth Certificate (which I want because in the future there will be times for school, passport, etc he will need one) we need to either re-adopt him in the states OR register the adoption with the state. We chose to do the latter because it was free....yes something in this adoption is free. If someone can enlighten me on any reason I should re-adopt verses just getting it registered please share, because I found no good reason to pay a lawyer to do such. So to register the adoption in KY you can call Lori Fitch who works in the adoption services branch in Frankfort at (502) 564-2147 ex3569 or email her at Lori.FarisFitch@ky.gov and she will email you the application. You need to mail the application along with copies of your adoption decree and certificate of citizenship or proof of IR3 visa. We already had the COC so we mailed a copy of that. But from the application it appears you could do this before you get the COC if you mail a copy of child's visa (and we did not need a social to do this either). A couple weeks later we were mailed a certificate signed by the commissioner that our adoption is registered in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Which now means the state of Ky recognizes the adoption and sees Noah as our son.
Birth Certificate: I believe you have to have already re-adopted or registered the adoption in order to get a birth certificate. Call Kristi Riley at the vital statistics office at (502) 564-4212 ext 3225 and let her know which one you have done. The paperwork is different depending on whether you readopted or registered. She will mail you a packet of paperwork with instructions. The application has to be notarized. She mailed me the packet the same day I called and I got it the next day. She also must have originals of the adoption decree, COC, etc. She even needs to see the home study. You can mail it to her and she will copy and mail back. But because I can't even begin to imagine calling USCIS and trying to get another COC because ours got lost in the mail we will be driving our documents to Frankfort and watching her copy them :) We will get the certificate the same day. We have not done this yet, since driving to Frankfort with a few little ones requires some planning.
Overall I have found our little state government much more efficient than the US government working across the pond...which is somewhat encouraging. So I hope this helps someone navigate the last few steps of making everything "official". A big thanks to my friend Amy who did all this before me and really provided all the information above....I am just passing it along! If you find any of this to become inaccurate (this is all based on my experience in the past 3 months) or you know of an easier way please share so everyone can benefit.
***Disclaimer: if you live out of KY this will probably not pertain to you but it could be similar in your area of the country*****
Name Change: The most helpful piece of information I can give you is do this FIRST. You do NOT, I repeat do NOT need a social security number, birth certificate, etc to accomplish this. In fact, you don't don't even need your certificate of citizenship to change your baby's name. All you have to do is go to your local Probate court office and fill out some paperwork on their computer (you can not do this at your home computer). You do not need an appointment. We may have needed our adoption decree for this but I know we did not have to show his COC so we actually could have done this sooner. The fee in minimal...less than $20. But you do need 2 separate checks because one is a filing fee($8) that has to be paid separate. You will then be assigned a court date to come back. We got ours 2 days later and Dan went for this. I did not and Noah did not have to be present. He was there less than an hour and got our official documents stating our names as petitioners his previous name and new name. You can get "official" copies for I think $2(not sure) that you need to get social security card, birth cert etc, and "unofficial" copies for $.50 that can be used at places like your doctors office and school. They were very friendly and efficient here in Louisville. If you live in Louisville the number is (502) 595-4434, they are open Monday-Friday 8:30-4:30. It is located in the Brandeis Hall of Justice downtown. I called before we went and they were helpful and answered all my questions. We were there about 30 minutes for the initial paperwork.
Social Security Card: We did this next. Dan actually left the court from the official name change and walked straight to social security office (a couple blocks away from the court house). Again, Noah did not have to be present. Only children older than 12 need to appear in person. You must have ORIGINALS of the Certificate of Citizenship and adoption decree to complete this. He took everything we had on the adoption with him, including Noah's passport. She made copies of originals. You have to fill out a form that can be printed from www.ssa.gov. More information is on this site. We picked up his number and a temporary card the next day so we could amend our taxes and got the original card a week later. So if you're considering delaying name change to get taxes going it only took us 2 days to get a name change. And you can get name change before you get your COC, then when it arrives go get a social. Then you won't have to redo the social post name change.
Registering the adoption in KY: So I was confused, and am still not sure if I'm right, about readopting in the US and what that means. From what I understand because the adoption is final in Ethiopia the US views Noah as an immigrant living in our home, not necessarily as our son. In order to get a KY Birth Certificate (which I want because in the future there will be times for school, passport, etc he will need one) we need to either re-adopt him in the states OR register the adoption with the state. We chose to do the latter because it was free....yes something in this adoption is free. If someone can enlighten me on any reason I should re-adopt verses just getting it registered please share, because I found no good reason to pay a lawyer to do such. So to register the adoption in KY you can call Lori Fitch who works in the adoption services branch in Frankfort at (502) 564-2147 ex3569 or email her at Lori.FarisFitch@ky.gov and she will email you the application. You need to mail the application along with copies of your adoption decree and certificate of citizenship or proof of IR3 visa. We already had the COC so we mailed a copy of that. But from the application it appears you could do this before you get the COC if you mail a copy of child's visa (and we did not need a social to do this either). A couple weeks later we were mailed a certificate signed by the commissioner that our adoption is registered in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Which now means the state of Ky recognizes the adoption and sees Noah as our son.
Birth Certificate: I believe you have to have already re-adopted or registered the adoption in order to get a birth certificate. Call Kristi Riley at the vital statistics office at (502) 564-4212 ext 3225 and let her know which one you have done. The paperwork is different depending on whether you readopted or registered. She will mail you a packet of paperwork with instructions. The application has to be notarized. She mailed me the packet the same day I called and I got it the next day. She also must have originals of the adoption decree, COC, etc. She even needs to see the home study. You can mail it to her and she will copy and mail back. But because I can't even begin to imagine calling USCIS and trying to get another COC because ours got lost in the mail we will be driving our documents to Frankfort and watching her copy them :) We will get the certificate the same day. We have not done this yet, since driving to Frankfort with a few little ones requires some planning.
Overall I have found our little state government much more efficient than the US government working across the pond...which is somewhat encouraging. So I hope this helps someone navigate the last few steps of making everything "official". A big thanks to my friend Amy who did all this before me and really provided all the information above....I am just passing it along! If you find any of this to become inaccurate (this is all based on my experience in the past 3 months) or you know of an easier way please share so everyone can benefit.
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