Crossing the crazy line and the ocean....

Our case "is still under orphan investigation.  At this time there is no new information about your case.  We ask for your patience." according to the email we received from the embassy.  After a week they finally responded with those few sentences and answered none of my questions.  Questions like "Could you please specify what attempts you are making to contact the police officer?" "In your professional opinion is it likely our case will be clearly approvable?"  "Do you have an estimated time frame of when a decision will be made regarding our case?" Thank you for your service to our country.   I feel like this is similar to your loved one being in the hospital, very sick, and you asking the Doctor what the plan and prognosis is and the doctor responding, "We are still trying to figure out what's going on, please be patient."  That would not fly.  Because families want to know what the doctor is doing, what tests, what labs and what his professional outlook is on your loved one's life.  That is their job!  I feel like the embassy is not doing their job.  And it crushes me.

So a week from today I'm leaving on a jet plane and heading back to Ethiopia to love on our little guy and go to the embassy and see if they will answer my questions in person.  Worst case scenario: Nothing in our case changes and Noah gets lots of love and cuddles and is reminded that he has a mom and a dad who love him very much and who are fighting very hard to bring him home.  Best case scenario:  Our case gets moving and I bring Noah home with me that week!  There are obviously lots of "middle" scenarios, one of which might include me staying in Ethiopia a little longer than planned if needed.  Some might call this crazy.  If that's the line we're crossing it when I cross the ocean.  We are in a very weird place in a very complicated process.  I'll admit, even as an adoptive parent, when we were in Ethiopia in December and other families were even more deep in this than we are now I. did. not. get. it.  But now here we are and I. get. it.

Yesterday I had a date afternoon/evening with this really hot guy I know.  Incase you just happened across my blog and don't know me I am talking about my husband :)  We went for a 3 mile run, watched UofL basketball and ate sushi.  It was perfection.  The loop we went for a run on is very windy and has lots of trees and hills.  So it is difficult to see what's ahead.  I was on the very last and longest hill and turned a corner thinking the top would be in site and I would see Dan there waiting for me.  Nope.  I turned the bend to realize I was only about half way up this forever long climb.  Oh my.  I took a deep breath and pushed it.  A police officer with his two dogs were running in the opposite direction of me and had already passed me once said "You can do it! Keep pushing!"  I got a little pep in my step and just when I thought I was going to vomit or pass out or both I finally came around the curve I thought I was at 5 minutes before and saw the top.  What a picture of this adoption process.  Just when I thought we were almost there I get an email that knocks the breath out of me saying nothing has changed, no progress, no closer to getting Noah home.  All I know to do is take a deep breath and push it.  I'm so thankful for the encouragers in my life.  Those sweet precious people who don't say "I'm praying for you" just because they think it's nice to say but those dear friends who are getting down on their knees on Noah's behalf and crying along side of us.  Because dear friends you are giving me a little pep in my step, you're helping me put aside all the pain that this long climb is causing and to keep pushing it.  So for the prayers, the hugs, the notes, the texts, thank you.

I am longing for the downhill run of this race.  The part where my body weight alone propels me forward and it takes so much less effort.  The part where we bring Noah home.  Right now there are just trees and curves and steep hills.  Hopefully we'll get there before I vomit, pass out, or both.