Waiting is Hard Work!

It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since we went down to the Federal Building and were fingerprinted.  No sign from USCIS with our official approval.  This isn't unusual...I'm just impatient.  Each day when the mail comes I'm like a kid at Christmas.  I run out and filter through the bills and junk in hopes to see an envelope with return address "Department of Homeland Security".  So far nothing.  Our dossier has been in Ethiopia 2 weeks tomorrow.  And even though it is making it's way to to the top of the list, I have no idea of it's progress each day. I've never had to wait like this before.  Everything else in life had an appointed end.  High school and college graduation had a date circled on the calendar.  I counted down days to my wedding.  Even when I was prego with the girls and the exact date wasn't known, there was an end date.  If they weren't out by then, they would be evicted! There is no end date in sight with our adoption.  While that might be a little dramatic to say, it's just not known.  We could get our USCIS approval today and our referral tomorrow.  One family I've met since we started this process literally got their referral a few days after their dossier got to Ethiopia.  Or we could get our USCIS approval in a month and a referral in six months.  There are so many variables it's completely unpredictable from my viewpoint.  I'm sure the wonderful people at our agency are more aware and will have a heads up before me.  Thankfully, they don't share all of that inside info until it's certain we have a referral.  As if the suspense isn't enough, I would not want a lot of "possibles" and then disappointment. 
So we are waiting and praying (a LOT) and raising money to bring our kiddos home.  Until now, I have selfishly felt like I was somewhat in control of what happened in my life and that I had worked hard to get what we have.  This experience is knowing that WE literally can't do this on our own and are being completely humbled by asking our family and friends to partner with us.  And a whole new trust of giving our children, the adoption process, and the cost completely over to the Lord.  And no matter how much we think we are giving, we can't out give the one who gave His life for us.  He has given the ultimate sacrifice and I can't earn it or work for it.  It's a gift of grace. 
We are so grateful and humbled by our friends and family who are coming around us in prayer and support.  People who are sacrificially giving to help bring our kids home.  We'll never be able to express our thanks.  But know we love you and appreciate you!