So this has been an interesting week. Monday started off incredibly well with USCIS being so kind as to fingerprint us a month early! Later that day I had an extremely flat tire (a big thanks to the three men who changed it in the rain and to my awesome husband who used his lunch to get a new tire for me). The rest of the week has had ups and downs, not only with adoption stuff but with all things being considered as we look to what the next couple years hold for the Jenkins family. I then ended the week with a fender bender that was completely my fault and thankfully did more damage to me than the other guy. A lot is about to change and while I’m sooo thrilled, I’m overwhelmed at times. So this afternoon I took advantage of the girls nap to sit and be still. Be still and pray and read. I thought about our journey so far and how far we have to go. I also thought about all the encouragement I’ve received and the not so encouraging conversations. And what it really comes down to is it’s not about me. It’s not about me or my inconveniences or emotions. It’s about Jesus and if I’m really trusting Him. We started this journey because we love being parents and want more children. We started because God loves orphans and clearly tells us to care for them. And even more than that because as my sweet Bella Kate sings “I once was lost and now I’m found”. One of the more memorable comments I’ve received about adopting is “So, if you go over there and they aren’t what you want or something is wrong with them, can you pick different ones?” We are not picking out a puppy or buying a car. We are having two children, whatever that means and comes with, they will be ours and we will take care of them just like we do our girls. AND praise God that He does not have that attitude about His children. Because I am not worthy and do not deserve to be adopted by Him. What I deserve is Hell (the Bible says all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that the wages of sin is death). But God took me, the one who messes up (a lot, just ask my husband) and by His grace saved me through the death and resurrection of Jesus (The Bible gives hope when it says “If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved). Thank you Lord, for not looking at me and saying she has too many things wrong with her and will be disobedient and has had too much of a past, leave her as an orphan. Instead, He loved me and adopted me and changed my life forever.
Another favorite comment of mine is “wouldn’t you rather give your two kids more in life than giving four just a little?” Okay folks, let’s get honest. Apparently this person is, because even if I thought it I can’t imagine saying it aloud and I’m a little nauseous that that is the American mindset. I have a love/hate relationship with the book Radical by David Platt. I love it because it’s true and I agree with what he has to say. I hate it because I’m living the American Dream. He talks about taking the Jesus of the Bible and turning Him into a comfortable American middle class Jesus. And that is what came to my mind when someone made that comment to me. We’ve made Him a Jesus who says “Sure, leave those kids as orphans to starve or die of preventable disease so that you can take your kids to Disney every year until they graduate high school”. It’s absurd. The Jesus of the Bible says to care for orphans; there is no contingency in there about what that means for the sacrifices we have to make in order to do that. I’m not denying that the budget is going to be a little tighter with two more kids and we’ll have to make some sacrifices. But everyone in the Jenkins family will be clothed, well fed, warm, and live in our comfortable suburban home. Yes they will have to share a room (which they’ll love) and will have a few less toys (they won’t notice!) but will have more than enough! As a note, I’ve taken 2 huge totes of toys from our house and sold them. The girls have not noticed and my living room is still cluttered with play things They won’t go to Disney every year but will go on some fun family vacays to be certain. What we “need” and “want” are two very different things. Even in my soon to be large-family, we will have way more than our needs met. And I’m completely okay with the girls having a few less things. Even after adding two more kids, we will just live a more modest middle class American Dream. My point is, we still aren’t being very radical.
For dinner tonight the girls and I had mac & cheese and green beans. It’s not a bad dinner. A dinner on a budget. Since Dan is at work it was also quick and easy. But I was feeling kinda sorry for myself, because I like to eat. Then I got a text from a sweet friend who is also adopting from Ethiopia . She says, “You know you’re in the process of international adoption when you are eating tuna, grapes, and kool-aid for dinner!” Hilarious I thought and I told her what we had. And immediately I thought, that’s more than our sweet African kids had today.
So you might want to keep praying that we get our referral soon, so I’ll have something to blog about besides my quiet time thoughts J
